Just a quick note here from your friendly neighbourhood barmaid and mixologist, because apparently just being a barmaid wasn’t a grand enough title if you could master the art of a cocktail. Anyways, I am here to gift you five cocktail recipes that will make you very popular at your next prinks. Note you will need a cocktail shaker for these recipes but in emergencies a water bottle will work just as well.
A subtle Sex-in-the-City reference in the form of a drink. Crush some raspberries in your shaker, add 30ml raspberry Vodka, 15ml lemon juice, and 12ml sugar-syrup. Add ice to your shaker and go to town, strain into glass, and top off with prosecco to give it a bubbly head. Enjoy while winking at the cute guy across the room to live up to its reputation.
This is by far the most ordered cocktail on my menu, and I cannot understand why; other than the giggle of asking your server to bring you a pornstar. I am convinced that people just don’t know what goes into this little orange beverage. Well, I will have to let you in on the secret.
Start with one egg white, 30ml of vodka, 70ml of Passionfruit puree, and 20ml of Sugar syrup. Put this all in your shaker and wrap with a towel. The egg builds gas in the chamber, causing the top to blow, ensuring you wear your martini rather than drinking it. Shake this for a minimum of 5-minutes, to cook the egg. Once the five minutes are up, add ice to the shaker and shake again for 1-minute. Strain this into glass, add a shot glass of prosecco on the side.
Side Note: Please do not pour the prosecco into the martini, if it was meant to be the bartender would have poured it in. Rinse your mouth with the shot first before enjoying your Pornstar.
This is my personal favourite off the cocktails menu that I only offer regulars who I know have a stomach of steel; I will warn you in advance that it is a strong drink so sip lightly. Add 30ml Baileys, 30ml Vodka, 30ml Crème-de-Mente, 30ml Milk, and 50ml of Monnin Chocolate into your shaker with Ice and shake for just under a minute, strain over a glass of Ice. For Decoration I would add a pinch of spring mint and cocoa powder, but it is just as delicious without.
I will not lie to you folks, it’s not tasty, but its stunning mixing of colours will have you reaching for the camera to capture that perfect Instagram picture. Fun Fact: it was named by my favourite regular, a little old lady, Mary, who always has the most scandalous stories.
Start with a tall glass, add a small amount of ice, pour in a bottle of blue WKD, add 20ml of lemon juice, slowly with the juice touching the side of the glass. Add 40ml of raspberry vodka using the same method.
If done correctly your drink should turn blue, to pink to purple. Garnish with strawberries and a straw and have the camera ready.
Sex on the Beach
This classic is the easiest and most refreshing cocktail on the list and always meets the ear with the same response; “sex on the beach?” “with you, anytime.” Also, don’t say this to your bartender, the laugh is always fake, I promise.
Pour 75ml Cranberry juice, 75ml orange juice, 35ml vodka, and 20ml peach schnapps into your shaker with ice and shake away. Shake for a minute before pouring, I would personally suggest ice but that is your call.
Then top off this classic cocktail with grenadine, an orange slice, and strawberries before going bottoms-up on this concoction.