After the internet collectively went gaga over the Vogue article “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing?”, conversations around relationships took a dramatic turn. Suddenly, the classic “boys vs. girls” debate resurfaced, but this time with a vogue-esq twist. Today, though, we’re not just talking about boyfriends. Or girlfriends. We’re asking the bigger question: Is having a partner embarrassing?
Let’s find out.
A little history lesson before we dig into the topic. I saw countless TikToks and Instagram reels (yes, I need to cut my screen time) reacting to the headline alone without knowing what was in the article. So, for context: the piece, written by Chanté Joseph and published in October 2025, discusses how being a “boyfriend girl” has allegedly become uncool, even cringe. The idea is that girlfriends now hesitate to post their partners too much because nobody wants their entire personality reduced to a relationship. As Joseph notes, people might simply mute you.
Meanwhile, single women, especially the independent, cat-owning archetype (not talking about Taylor Swift… okay, maybe talking about Taylor Swift) — are idealised. “Go home to your cats and not men” has become less of an insult and more of a lifestyle slogan. In short, heterosexual partnerships are being culturally scrutinised in ways they weren’t before.
But here’s the real question: long before this article existed, did you ever feel like being in a relationship was… doing too much? Maybe even a little embarrassing?
I asked a few friends. The responses were split, a dramatic yes and an equally passionate no (diverse friend group for the win). Personally, I don’t think being in a relationship is embarrassing, when you know, how to balance. It only becomes too much when you have nothing else to talk about. You are not Taylor Swift or Sabrina Carpenter. We are not waiting for your next relationship update like it’s a chart-topping single. It’s cute in a love song. It’s less cute in a three-hour hangout where your partner is the only topic.
Let’s be honest: single people sometimes resent overly happy couples who feel the need to document every moment. That’s why “single girl TikTok/Instagram” exists, a safe space to feel validated and detox from that one couple who’s been together forever and somehow makes it everyone’s business.
And yet, here’s the contradiction: romance is one of the most beloved literary genres of all time. We consume love stories obsessively, especially the ones with obsessed and passionate partners. The difference? Those stories are told from the protagonists’ perspectives. If they were written by their neglected friends, maybe we’d have a whole new genre: The Forced Third Wheel.
Many people I spoke to admitted that what actually bothers them isn’t the relationship itself, it’s the fallout of friendships. Plans get canceled. Time gets cut short. Conversations revolve around arguments, anniversaries, and emotional rollercoasters. Slowly, friendships that took years to build start fading into the background.
So, no having a partner isn’t embarrassing.
Losing yourself and your other relationships because of one is.
Balance is what keeps love from becoming cringe. A partner should add to your life, not replace it. So maybe the real answer isn’t whether having a partner is embarrassing. It’s whether you remember to stay a full person outside of one.
