Parents are the driving force behind every sport, for every underage team a parent if not parents are the coaches, but they have so much more involvement and impact on the games we love than anyone gives them credit for.
The other evening as I finished up an evening of coaching I watched a parent kick the rugby balls back to her son who was determined to be the best kicker in his age group. This wasn’t the first evening I had seen this lady at the pitch after training, or before waiting on her son as he continued to kick the leather off the ball.
“Those are his third pair of boots this season”, she laughed as we both knew she was the one paying for them.
Growing up I played with a great bunch of lads, but behind the scenes was a great team of parents and that’s partially why we were so good as a team. Our three coaches were parents of lads I played with giving up a minimum of three days a week to not only their children but to the children of others, and it didn’t stop at that; there were lifts to and from training and matches, there were trips organized abroad and so much more which wasn’t always easy dealing with 20 to 30 teenage boys.
Niall Beatty spent six years as Head Coach of an underage side in his boyhood club Galwegians RFC. He said: “I have been immersed in Galwegians all my life having played from a very young age, through an underage system to Senior Rugby. My son Jack is also very keen so it was an easy decision to coach him and this group at the time.”
During his time as a coach, he and his team won a Connacht shield, two back-to-back Connacht cups, and in his final year the Connacht U17 league, becoming one of the most decorated underage teams in the club. He says he had too many favourite moments before listing a few; “the comradery that we built amongst the squad, the wins, the losses, the away trips, the trophies, getting to know the children’s parents….I could go on”.
But it wasn’t always easy for him, dedicating so much time to the team, and commuting four days a week to Dublin for work sacrifices had to be made elsewhere in his life “I have three girls and probably didn’t get to see them playing their sports as much as I would have liked to. However I’m making up for that now and am a regular hockey “parent” supporter every weekend, as long as they don’t ask me to coach”.
When asked if it was all worthwhile he said: “Absolutely, some of those kids I coached are now playing for adult teams in the club and some are now coaching the underage teams themselves. The most rewarding part of all is when I meet these young adults now be it at the club or in town and the “hello” I get from them.”
But coaching isn’t the only way parents influence the game. There is so much outside of training and matches that parents put up with for their kids to enjoy every inch of the sport. Someone who knows all about the goings-on off the pitch is Stallworth of the club Debbie Joyce. Debbie spent 18 and a half years driving to Galwegians with her three sons, two of which still play there today.
She spent years helping out in the clubhouse, after games she would serve food when there were trips she would organize fundraisers be it bagging groceries in Dunnes or carol singing at Christmas time.
She said: “The hard part was probably the first 3 or 4 years when they were younger, getting them all organized on a Saturday morning to get out the door on time, especially when the two smaller ones had to be brought as well as John was working on Saturdays and you can be sure that someone would forget a gum shield or worse still their boots!” and the only thing worse than forgotten boots was having to wash “wet mucky gear”. Debbie overlooked the long drives and the constant washing of gear because her boys enjoyed it so much “I did it for the boys as they loved their rugby and to be honest, I loved watching them play”.
But for Debbie, it was all worthwhile watching the enjoyment her boys received from playing sport. “It has been very rewarding and I’ve always said that the rugby community is a lovely one to be involved in and has certainly helped keep all of mine on the straight and narrow as they have made the best of friends there. I myself have some great friends that I met on the side of the pitch and shared a coffee with every Saturday morning while the lads trained or played matches. I always felt it was important to have them play team sports and I encouraged them to do this. They say you reap what you sow, and I certainly believe this and that time spent on the side of a pitch is always time well spent.”
Our parents don’t get half enough recognition for the sacrifices they make and the time they put in. Parents will always be there to bake the buns and wash the shorts, organize carpools and dinners after training, they will always be there to have the emersion on and shout about the washing down the shower, and without them I don’t think sport would survive.