They say that the best relationships begin unexpectedly. They say that love is blind. They say that moving too fast will only end in tragedy and that taking things slow is the better approach. We need to stop listening to those cliché phrases and listen to the ones that we believe are true to our own feelings and to our partner. Personally, I believe that quality overrules quantity; it’s not important how long you’ve known the person for, but it’s important to observe how they treat you in that space of time no matter how big or small. When it comes to my past relationships, I’m quite open about speaking about them; I believe that talking about hurtful past experiences helps to relieve that weight from your shoulders, carrying it around all the time could damage your emotional, physical and mental health and anything that is a threat to those simply isn’t worth it.
I’ll let you in to my mind for a bit; I was in a four-year relationship once upon a time and I thought the world of him. On the weekends, when I should have been spending time with friends and family, I was too busy going to see him and even when he was in the company of my closest friends and family there was no interaction. It was embarrassing, but I was willing to shrug it off because I loved him so much. Overtime, I could see that my mental health was progressively getting worse and it became a burden on my part. It’s really difficult to open up to someone when the end result is them throwing everything back in your face and dropping you like a tonne of bricks because their feelings have all of a sudden disappeared, and they look at you like a stranger almost as if those four years never existed. It breaks you, it diminishes you as a person when someone, who you thought was your future, throws your mental health sufferings back in your face because they “couldn’t handle it”. A wound, a deep and painful wound was left, but nowadays, it’s healing to the point that I’ve forgotten that it was ever there. A lot of self-healing patched me up, but the biggest part of that wound repairing itself was due to one person who walked into my life out of the blue.
It’s mind-blowing how one person can change your world only after one month, how one person can make up for all the bad things that have happened in the past, how one person can prove that happiness does exist. When you find that person who assures you that opening up to them is safe, that they’ll stick with you through the good times as well as the bad times then you need to keep them in your life. In such a short space of time, I’ve felt a huge shift in my mental health; the dark place I was recently in has now been blinded by this light and I can clearly see that better days are coming, that better days are already here.
The one phrase I have always believed in is the fact that the best relationships begin unexpectedly. Numerous people have told me to stop looking for Mr. Right because one simply can’t go and directly find their partner in crime, they simply have to go about their daily lives and let the right person find them without meaning to; that is what happened in my life. I never truly believed that it would happen to me after my first official heartbreak that left a wound which I was positive would never heal. I feel that when I was trying to find the right person, I was going in with these high and insane expectations and that is what led me to getting hurt every time. When I took a step back and made my expectations realistic, I found that I became much more suited to this feeling of acceptance that what I expected wasn’t the worst crime in the past because we all want someone who will treat us respectfully and have good communication skills. We’ve just celebrated Halloween, and if your boyfriend or girlfriend calls you by the nickname of “pumpkin,” then keep them forever.
